Embrace the Suck!
We try to avoid it.
Navigate ways around it.
Do anything to remove it.
Cuz, well we don’t wanna suck or be bad at something new, difficult or challenging.
As humans, we’re part of a comfort-driven, pleasure-seeking society.
The convenient. The easy. The familiar. The comfortable.
Basically, we prefer to do what we like and what we’re good at.
But no growth comes from this space of safety. You see, to evolve, change and become more/better/different, we need discomfort. We should actually seek it, though that might seem counter-intuitive.
And yet with that discomfort, the very real possibility exists that we will either make a mistake, fail, look stupid or something in between.
My Failure Fears…
Whenever I launch a program, I dive right into discomfort which isn’t exactly pleasant. Even though I love to share new ideas and programs to groups of women in the online space, I know there is no guarantee that it will succeed. My head often spins into thoughts of failure, short-comings, mistakes and mishaps. Because truth is, this can happen. Perfection doesn’t exist and so the idea of failure is a reality I need to face. Head on. Every time.
And so do you.
It might not be a program, but maybe it’s a new opportunity or job, a new exercise program or piece of equipment to master. Whatever it is, in life there are always opportunities to seek out the uncomfortable. It’s easy to find.
So how do I still plough ahead even when uncertainty is the only thing I’m sure of?
Here are some tips that have helped me “embrace the suck”… the messy process of being bad at something until you get better:
Start small, but start!
Whenever there is a new project, challenge or even an exercise that is new and unfamiliar, I start small. The start is often the hardest part of course and so by starting with a “baby steps” approach, I lower the barrier to entry and feel that slight tinge of success by simply starting. Because I know, the start is often the hardest, messiest and scariest part. Once I’ve crossed that hurdle, I know (from past experience) I can slowly build momentum and continue to forge ahead.
Fake it till you become it!
This idea comes from Richard Wiseman’s book “The As If Principle” where essentially you ask yourself “how would the better/fitter/smarter/ version of me act/talk/behave/choose?” Instead of waiting to become it and then act accordingly… we should act first as if we are currently that person. So, for example, if I want to be fitter, I need to start acting, choosing and thinking like a fit individual. This then allows me to remove my self-doubt and fear and step into greater confidence. Of course there are risks. Yes, I might fail. But with the mindset and action that I’ve already taken, I’m willing to take that chance and plough ahead even in the midst of uncertainty.
Understand that discomfort is a skill!
Say what? Yeah, feeling discomfort physically, mentally and emotionally is a skill. A skill that is refined with repetition and practice. In a nutshell, the more we choose discomfort, the better we get at sitting in this uncomfortable awkward space. And so, with time, repetition, practice and the assimilation and acceptance of failures, we actually get better at being “bad” at something.
Alas, we learn to embrace the suck!
Final Thoughts…
It’s so easy to read about it, think about it and even talk about it. But discomfort is not easy in the least. It requires humility and courage, tenacity and patience and an overall willingness to fall and fail.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Until we succeed. Because if we stick with it, success WILL happen.
What areas do you need to be “bad” at so you can improve and grow?
What steps can you take today to help you get there?
Let’s connect!
Coach Lisa
