How to Handle Setbacks....
Setbacks…. we’ve all experienced them at some point or another.
It might be because of an injury, a new job with high demands, a sick parent, getting Covid, or wtv else comes our way to throw us off track.
One of the things that’s the toughest for me as a coach, is to help a client navigate a setback and try to steer her back “on track”.
Admittedly, I’ve sometimes failed at that tough task.
Here’s why…
Some setbacks are long and more intense than others.
For example, getting sick might put you out for a week or so. You might lose a little bit of your mojo and getting back to your workouts may seem hard at first, but you haven’t been out of the loop long enough to lose that much traction. Things like a vacation, a short illness, a pending work deadline… these are minor setbacks.
Such is life. Expect them.
But say it’s an injury or you now have have a job position that’s more demanding of your time, or your parent/child needs more immediate and ongoing extra attention?
You might potentially be “out” for a while… weeks maybe even months.
What happens then?
Do you quit?
Put the “fitness thing” on hold?
Press “pause” until things somehow ease up a little?
I’d argue… it depends (like all answers in fitness!)
We all know and can/should expect things to be bumpy at some point. Very rarely will we experience smooth sailing in life with little to no interruptions.
BUT…..
We need to know the difference between a minor setback and a major life shift.
And even then, in between these two is a myriad of curveballs both big and small that we can expect.
Behind-the scenes of some of my “setbacks” so far….
I have experienced in the past, the birth of 2 kids, travels, a stress fracture, lower back pain, work demands, the loss of my dad and now helping my mom through a challenging season…among a host of other things over the past 3 decades that I’m sure you can imagine like colds, PMS, relationship conflicts, renovations etc.
To say I’ve never had a setback would be a lie.
I also share this so you’ll never assume others live a smooth life with no obstacles or reasons to quit.
The difference however, lies in our RESPONSE to those inevitable setbacks.
Because what happens to us sometimes isn’t always in our control… but our response most definitely is.
(Little dose of tough love)
How to deal with a setback? Ask yourself…
How serious is it? Is it health-related? Is it a minor/major relationship conflict? A minor inconvenience or a serious matter to deal with?
How temporary is it? Are we talking a week? A few months? A year?
How does it impact my time, energy and mental state right now? Is my headspace cluttered that I can’t focus on my fitness/health goals? Or can I carve in some time that can actually clear my mind to tackle the “problem” at hand?
Then consider this…
Be honest with yourself… how much of the situation is actually in your control?
Your job, the age of your kids, getting sick… some of these you may not have control of. Assess what YOU actually DO have control of, which means being brutally honest and ditching go-to excuses that you might’ve used time and time again. Or likewise, validating the setback as real and in need of attention in this season of life.
Manage your expectations…. by implementing SMALL steps to create traction.
If you’ve been out of the groove for a week or more, getting back to it might mean simply accepting “less” of yourself for now. So instead of 3 workouts /week, you water it down to 2 and be content with reaching that goal with the expectations of yourself to match. If you’ve been out for longer, setting the bar even lower is a MUST. By doing so, you meet your small goals, build confidence and energy and then slowly inch it higher as time moves on. Be realistic about what you’re able to achieve with what you are willing to do.
Abolish the “all-or-nothing mindset”… it serves no purpose in propelling you forward.
I’ve said this one multiple times but it’s worth repeating… simply put, “all or nothing” leads to nothing. Going “all in” and then having to stop leads to feelings of failure which then leads to an inner-narrative that remains stuck in victimhood. This can be an inner -dialogue for years…. so it’s well worth the effort in writing yourself a new script and actually reminding yourself of it on the daily! Expect setbacks and KNOW that even small steps in the right direction re-build the habits that will set action back in place. Direction is the key, not speed!
Final Words…
Setbacks WILL happen.
Expect it.
Anticipate it.
Know that someday, you will be thrown off course. It might be a short stint or a longer situation that will force you to switch gears and a re-evaluate your current goals and time management.
The ultimate goal is to respond to the setback in a realistic pro-active way that gets you back up on the horse, even if that’s at a slow and steady pace.
Lose the victim mentality. Harness whatever power you actually have. Create a simple plan that keeps expectations grounded and achievable.
And keep running the course… one mile at time :)
What’s setting you back these days? Can you uncover what action you can take in the midst of your current setback?
I’d love to hear from you:)
Coach Lisa 💪
